ASR Blog

what comes first. . . .

woohoooo. phew phew phew. well i am happy to report that thousands of punkster shirts are finally finally sitting in the warehouse. and im happy to report that more are coming. and they all are going out.

internet orders waited forever, and stores waited longer, and they are all pretty mad about it,

but what comes first, the order or the production?

either way it is hard. but we are redeeming ourselves. singing the redemption song. we gave everyone a free shirt for their patience.

and now, it starts all over, new designs, new orders, new customers. does anyone out there have a ray of hope for me that things fall into place better and will be well organized and orderly someday? or is owning a small business always as chaotic as it is looking for punkster these days????

As a Ladder of Fact

This corporate ladder everyone talks about? Isn't it getting old and splintery now? who says i have to climb up it? why? what's at the top thats not at the bottom? an office with a view of the park? maybe i'd rather just stay down here and sit on the grass in that park.

don't get me wrong, i am driven. i am too driven, it deters other life progress i think. but to be honest, what i am driven to do it create, not compete.

i am not trying to be bossy, or a boss, though i have about 20 people at any given time that work under me. i am not trying to get the penthouse, though dreams of hardwood floors and a backyard for my dog have kicked in recently. i am not looking to brag about my position at my high school reunion, though i do enjoy having interesting accomplishments to tell my old friends about.

so this ladder. . . .ah the dreadful ladder. its funny, i have this job, this more than full time job of punkster, creating something from my brain that has turned into bigger than life and a bigger than life stress and a taa daaaa, real company, but that thing is, still still still people ask me when i am going to get a job, or if i move, what am i going to do for money. THE SAME THING I HAVE BEEN DOING!

i think, instead of climbing some ladder everyone else is climbing, why not just build you own. tall or short as you want it, build you own ladder, prop it against whatever you want, a tree, a small business, a family, a life in a hut in brazil, and climb that ladder. climb your own, and dont worry about everyone around you getting up theirs.

i just think the higher you go, the more you're afraid of heights, the more nervous you get, the more frantic and stressed you get, unless of course the top of your ladder it a rooftop somewhere out in brooklyn with a glass of wine and maybe a couple friends nearby. that's more like the ladder i am interested in.

but then again, i feel hypocritical sometimes, because I am so driven to create and push and push and push forward. but thats because i feel like if i dont create i'll explode, you know what i mean. i have this wild idea in my head and i don't get it out into the universe soon. . ..ahhh!

i had an old boyfriend who said the only thing i cared about was my career, punkster. but i think what he never understood was to me, punkster was freedom. i wasnt working towards bragging rights for a celebrity sighting, i was working towards 4 weeks vacation and sleep ins on tuesday, no more bad bosses, and artistic freedom.

but through it all, if you have the bug you have to make things, create things, do things, accomplish things, trademark things, incorporate things, you will do it, ladder or no ladder.

i just am not convinced it has to be tetter tottering to be a success.

i'm givin it all i got captain!

a sense of relief washes over me as i read the email, "your order is set to arrive tomorrow morning at 10 am to the warehouse." wooohooo. now, will it? oh we will see. tomorrow if all goes well we will be shipping out every internet order, every store order, and everyone and every store gets a free punkster shirt. we owe them! the stores will get a couple. we have really really tested everyone's patience in the last months. including our own.

i have to say, we aren't saving lives here, the urgency for onesies is intense but luckily not life threatening. and this is when im thankful we aren't in the baby medicine business. seriously.

but we have a lot of damage control here. we have to get back in the stores we lost, we have to regain trust with the stores who are angry, we have to somehow get the internet orderers to understand this was a one time incident and not a normal business practice. so how do we do that? we send apology notes, we send out emails, we send out calls, and everyone's favorite- we send free stuff.

i can't think of a better use of merchandise than to give it to the patient customers that waited for us. and as a consumer i would be thrilled to get something free when i thought highly enough to purchase it in the first place.

so, we are trying to regain trust, though once you lose it in this business it is double the battle to get it back. and they say it, what, 10 times harder to get a new client than to keep one. . .. shoot.

anyone have suggestions on other ideas, now that we are back on track, how do we stay on track and how do we regain our peoples love? any one? help!!!

"i'm givin it all i got captain!"

dysfunctional relationships.

The thing about your own business that kills you is you are always thinking of ways to push it. You are always thinking of how to improve, what you did wrong, what opportunity you missed. And I am not sure that part of the brain can ever turn off, or will ever go away.

Man, actually, I guess that's why starting a small business is kind of like starting a new relationship, you can't get it off your brain. Only in this relationship, the money is the heart and the heart is the money. Both hurt REAL bad when they are lost.

In business and in love, you start things out slowly, if you're smart. Or jump in head first without
research, if your not. Both have an equal chance of failing (or working) so who really cares. no formula.

Let's say you start slow. Meet the man, already know what you want in a relationship, what your criteria is, what you want to get out of it, how much you want to invest in this love, your "business plan" let's say!

Or you meet a guy, you get this wild whim of an idea, thoughts of grandeur and you just get to vegas asap, that's the "nonbusiness plan" affair. But either way you have chosen to jump into love (or money) sometimes you will have fights and sometimes he won't hold his own, he won't pay for your dinner for years, he'll get you soooo high and in love then he will make you feel like the world is over.

This is love. Or is it business? Or are they both dysfunctional relationships? Can it just be easy and perfect?

Lets just say this business of mine, this punkster, is my relationship. this is right about the time in a relationship, that I would bail. "I'm sorry babe, you stress me out, you take my money, you don't give me anything in return. Though, you doooo look good in the magazines! But really I need to find a real man (job) that will provide for me and keep me stable and happy and one that loves me back."

But maybe I should stick this one out, maybe he(punkster) loves me and we are simply on rocky roads.

kind of a long distance thing.

Is India long distance enough?

Maybe we will break up. Or maybe we will stay together forever.

Maybe someday it will be like looking back on old love.
Even though they didn't work out, they were quite the adventure, and quite the education. or maybe punkster will love me forever. who knows.

in love and business, you can do whatever you do to make it work out the best possible, but in the end, you really don't know what will work and how it will work, and how long the honeymoon will be. but though it is give and take and hard and wonderful all at the same time, it is your passion, and you can not ignore your passion and be fully alive. in any of life's dysfunctional relationships.